Voice.

How can you find your voice? And speak with it clearly and confidently?

It's not that apparatus that rests in your throat and produces the range between screech and melifluous, but that essence within yourself that asserts its identity, steadily and surely.

For writers, it is the particular style they write in, that identifies, even without their byline, that the words that they write contain their unique voice. Ditto for artists, the strokes, the images, the palette they use, paint their individuality on the canvass. For musicians, its the way they combine the seven notes that sets their signature, and even for doctors and lawyers, the way their personality and their unique 'touch' that creeps into the cases they handle.

So much for the personality that creeps into work we do. Its always shaky at first, fumbling to find the right chord, the perfect pitch, but once discovered, we delight in it, finding ourselves over and over again.

But a voice is much more than the way one expresses oneself through work.

It is the core of our self. The essence of our nature. The ability to be truly comfortable in our own skin.

But how many of us really find this voice? This startlingly clear, infallible, unshakeable, firm voice that arises from deep within us. That is immune to any pressure, internal (our own insecurities)as well as external(societal).

Most of our days are spent in living a life that is shaped by expecatations and fears. Spent in conforming to inner demons and outer role models. In trying to make ourselves understood. In confusions and distractions. In trying to find a way to fit in with the world with what we have within us.

Some children have this gift at a young age. They can be with their friends, or alone, but they will be the same people - not changed in space or silence or the crowd. They sing their own song, even when they are alone - or with others.

But for many, even old age doesnt bring our own tune to our ears. We struggle, shift and change many times over, to get that comfort level, that feeling of being in sync with ourselves.

For a definite, crystal clear voice to emerge from this turbulence of the mind, is, to first find the silence within. That lets us hear the sound that is uniquely ours. That lets us speak in a way that is unambigous and aligned with what we do and how we are.
The voice that speaks - even when it is silent.

Positivity

If, as the cliche goes, every cloud has a silver lining, then the cloud that had shrouded Mumbai on 26/11 was the darkest, most ominous one that this beautiful vibrant city had ever seen.

But as the days pass, a faint light is tinting this cloud, slowly but surely.

There have been positive fallouts of this catastrophe:

1. India has won a strong, firm, assertive ally in the US which was hitherto sitting on the fence as far as Pak-India relations go. With their support and strong arm tactics (the need of the moment), India can tighten the pressure on Pak and have them follow up their words with decisive, committed and long term action.

2. NDTV 24x7 has shown us what responsible, professional, discerning, informed, well researched and balanced reporting is all about. Hats off to Barkha Dutt (spirited, energetic, fiesty, focussed and relevant) and Sreenivasan Jain (how can intelligence and good looks be combined so well!). In the midst of the other (especially the hysterical Hindi ones) sensational, irresponsible and amateur news channels, NDTV was sober, sensible and sensitive. This should be the future of News in our country.

3. Every citizen has at long last taken his and her democratic rights seriously. Even if it is something apparently small(but hugely significant) like casting a vote, the truth has finally hit home (and hit hard) that we are ultimately responsible for the government we get. Action committees are being formed at housing societies, we are finally raising our voices and demanding to be heard. Candles being lit may be a symbolic sign of our protest, but it is not a token gesture, since it keeps alive the anger, indignation and resolve at the brutal massacre of whatever our city stood for. Its a springboard to continued action - and memory. We need more black bands, candles and midnight vigils.

4. Hats off to Moshe's nanny, the frail, dimuntive woman who braved all the bullets and rushed this little child to safety. What guts and courage - and all for a boy who was not her own child and not even of her own family or nationality. Just goes to show that women and children can and will show the path to peace and progress....:-)

5. Mumbai and its people are no longer willing to turn the other cheek. We are no longer proud to be considered a 'reslient city' and a 'city that bounces back'. Phrases like these have made us, the highest tax paying Indian population, easy scapegoats for vote banks. We no longer want to believe in the 'spirit of Bombay' - which is what will spur us into now doing what needs to be done. (Though I am not a fan of her writing, Shobha De made a fervent ,relevant, exceptional point on NDTV in this regard) Enough is really enough!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRTZ8-K0jiE

6. We have started looking beyond our own selves, our small cocoons of safety and our narrow interests and existence for the greater common good. To effect a change, we must truly BE the change we wish to see. We do it for our kids, for our future generation, and we know WE must do it, and do it NOW.

Every situation has a positive side. Even something as dark and sinsiter as this. But see it we must, to learn, to live, to love and to move on.

Marriage.

What does one look for in a life partner? The ability to choose well and wisely, based not only on the characteristics of the opposite person, but more importantly, your needs and likes, is a decision that is life changing.

We all get caught in the throes of emotion and passion, desire and longing, and many of us tie the knot for social acceptance and practical considerations.

But this one step has a multitude of repurcussions, that traverse an entire lifetime.
So what should one look out for in a potential life partner? Though it is an extremely individual choice, shaped by personality, upbringing and social factors, there are some general guidelines that ought to be considered.

We've heard ad nauseaum about compatibility. But what is it? Here's a lovely piece that hits the nail on the head, pitching in wonderfully with the right mix of practicality and romance- a balance that actually creates the magic in a marriage.

http://drbenkim.com/articles-marriage.html

Definitions.

Saw newly washed clothes hanging on the balcony. The lady putting them out to dry gave them one final swish in the air to remove the last vestiges of wetness before they soaked in the morning sunshine. The moisture sprayed through the air, slicing it with the smell of fresh detergent and a feeling that can only be called - well, fresh.



That's the thing with words, with definitions, they can never capture a moment, never recreate the feelings of memories, never really explain the spaces between things.


How would you define 'fresh'?


The earthy smell that seeps into the air, with the first monsoons, adding the greenery to the environment - and your mind - before it makes its presence felt on the trees and the grass?


How it feels when you are in love?


A baby freshly bathed, sprinkled with the innocence of pink powder and scrubbed clean looks?


Tea brewing on a small quaint shop nestled in the mountains, carrying the waft up through the misty air till it reaches you sitting under a vast green tree as dried leaves crunch beneath your feet?


A million stars glittering against a clear night sky as waves splash across black glistening rocks and you feel happy to be alive at that very moment?


One word, but a myriad of definitions, catching the kaleidoscope of the mind, reflecting a multitude of emotions, and mirroring an experience of an individual life.